Thursday, May 31, 2012

Thoughtful Thursday: Keep Writing!

Writers are some of the best people I know. 
 The most creative, inspiring and bravest...not always easy to put your creations out there for public consumption. A Thoughtful Thursday to all the writers out there. Thank-you!



"Be yourself. Above all, let who you are, what you are, what you believe, shine through every sentence you write, every piece you finish".
 John Jakes 


“The difficulty of literature is not to write, but to write what you mean".
 Robert Louis Stevenson


“Writing is a form of personal freedom. It frees us from the mass identity we see in the making all around us. In the end, writers will write not to be outlaw heroes of some underculture but mainly to save themselves, to survive as individuals.”
 Don Delillo 


“Don't get it right, just get it written".
 James Thurber 


"The story I am writing exists, written in absolutely perfect fashion, some place, in the air.  All I must do is find it, and copy it."
Jules Renard



"Do not put statements in the negative form.
And don't start sentences with a conjunction.
If you reread your work, you will find on rereading that a
great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.
Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.
Unqualified superlatives are the worst of all.
De-accession euphemisms.
If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
Last, but not least, avoid cliches like the plague".
William Safire, "Great Rules of Writing"



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Here's our list of features: http://authorspromotingauthors.blogspot.ca/p/welcome.html
Or you can make contact here: authorspromotingauthorsATgmail.com 

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

From the Land of Beer Wenchery...a Cautionary Tale

I am fuming today folks. Truly.


And not for the usual "oh there Liz goes again" reasons either.
No, today's round of red-faced fury comes from my other life: that of "Beer Wench" or more appropriately in this case: owner and marketing director of a growing and successful craft microbrewery.


I found out yesterday, after a really great rah-rah-rally sales meeting that one of my biggest grocery store chain accounts had dropped me from their shelves. Now, don't get me wrong. I know the big chains are in it for the money. Many simply don't give a rip about truly supporting local.  It's the way this happened that made me nearly apoplectic and frankly sleepless last night.


Here is the deal: The beer shelf you see at any large store is called a "set." The shelves look the way they do on purpose, with design.  There is a reason certain beers are eye level, and others near the floor. Why some have large stacks over by the grill-able meat section and others occupy only one, simple, unobtrusive, not-hurting-anybody slot in the cooler.  Large beer companies "volunteer" to "help" large store managers come up with these "sets" based on their "study" of "sales data" for the "category" (in this case: beer).  There are 2 large beer companies, in case you were wondering. One is the "King" and the other "Tastes Great/Less Filling" so as not to name names. That's right. A macro brewing company in Missouri receives and analyzes the data from unnamed large grocery store chain A, strokes it's collective bearded chin and says "Well, we promise to come and service this set for the next X number of months and we highly recommend you set your beer shelves up like: this."


And the "this" that was presented yesterday to the large chain to the new "category manager" in another state did not include my beer. Come to find out it did not include a lot of very fine (and more established) Michigan beers.


Let me put in publishing terms for you:
Let's say Borders Barnes & Noble downsized or whatever and no longer wanted or could manage to organize their romance section. "No problem!" swoops in Large Publisher A. "We shall help you with this! Merely give us all your sales data for the last 18 months and allow us to sort out how you should REALLY be selling this genre."


"I don't know," Says at least one bookstore employee. "Sounds a little like fixing to me."


"Nonsense" Scoffs Large Publisher A. "Not only will we conduct this exhaustive sales analysis using our huge department of smarty pants sales analysts, we will send our local minions out daily to your store to dust the book shelves and give foot massages to the staff. Hey, we might even send over some of those hot cover models....you know, for the poor single gals behind the counter..." nudge/wink.


"Well...ok." B&N person says, relieved because they are not really into that genre anyway and got assigned to after being pulled from YA a.k.a. the Vampire Section.


So the book shelf is newly "set." And features books from Large Publishers A,B,C,D and a few from E because, you know, they are really no threat to A or B. And when the excited new writer, told her book is "on the shelf officially" after a lot of hard work talking to B&N and promoting her ass off shows up---guess what? No Book.


"Sorry," said frazzled and now dazzled by the gleaming torso of the promised and delivered cover models and foot massages B&N employee. "You weren't selling enough. Or at least that's what THEY said...." she points to the local minions of Large Publisher A who are busy dusting off covers and restocking, and clapping themselves on the back for a job well done.


It's borderline corporate level sabotage, anti trust and conflict of interest all in one steaming pile of sh*t. Truly. But it's how it gets done at that level. And so I shall get my sweet arse down to Cincinnati and chat with said new category manager, show him the 2 years of same store sales data I have in my hot little hand for my product and talk my way BACK onto Ann Arbor shelves of Unnamed Large Grocery Store Chain---you know, again. Like I did 2 years ago. Annoying. But perhaps a good exercise of the patience muscle. God knows mine is atrophied.




Speaking of sabotage, I'm doing first rounds of edits on Cheeky Blonde, a brewery-based intrigue romance. It releases July 8 from Decadent Publishing. It's funny, fast-paced and set in the unique to many world of craft brewing. I think you will love it!
Blurb:

Violence, intrigue and passion are brewing in the craft beer world. When bitter rivals Jennifer Baxter and Sean Garrison meet, the notorious and handsome owner of Garrison Brothers Brewing stays true to form, seducing her at a national brewer’s convention. What Jen doesn’t realize is how much her life will change from just one encounter. Her attempt to debut Brick Street Brewing’s experimental pale ale “Cheeky Blonde” shockingly turns out to be the day her avowed adversary becomes the love of her life.
Sean Garrison arrived at the convention expecting to get down to business, including his stated goal of hiring Jen away from her company. But the beautiful fellow craft beer expert provides more of a distraction than he expected, and his priorities quickly change. As Sean tries to prove that he can be more than just Jen’s competition, they finally unite to solve the sabotage mysteries at their fellow breweries. Shocked by depths of shared emotion, they battle the forces keeping them apart and wreaking havoc in the brewing world, before fate deals them a final blow.



Cheers,
Liz

Friday, May 25, 2012

Whimsical Friday: You are under arrest for illegal biting

Have you ever thought about what the world would be like if paranormal was reality? I’m talking Vampires, demons, werewolves, shapeshifter, and zombies, just to name a few. And what if these creatures lived amongst us like normal average everyday Joes and Joans.  Your next door neighbour is a shifter and you invite him over for coffee all the time. You’re standing in the grocery line and the cashier is a demon. The late night security guard was a vampire.  A Blood and raw meat store would be as common as a convenience store. A place where zombies could go and have all the brains they want with no consequences.
Now, of course these creatures couldn’t take whatever they want, suck blood from humans or chase their victims down on a full moon. There would be consequences. Jail for the paranormal.  Naturally there would have to be more officers out on parole while there’s a full moon.

Call me weird, but I think about it all the time.  There are times I’ll see a person at the mall and think just how much they look like a vampire. You know what I’m talking about. That guy with the dark hair, pale skin, dark eyes. Or the chick standing beside you in the elevator talking to her companion and you notice how pointy her teeth are.  What about that guy who has so much hair on his body it’s hard to tell if there really is flesh beneath it.  How about the guy in the cubical next to you. You know the one. He’s got his head down, his hair is frazzled, and he’s mumbling to himself. Zombie. Yeah, see, you know what I mean.  What a different world it would be.

Now you’re probably thinking, “Wait, Shiela. If this were reality, then the vampires, werewolves and demon race would become extinct without them recruiting.” Yes, I’ve thought about that. So here is my take on it. Just like we have blood donor clinics, there could be a Volunteer Your Life program.  Here a dying person could go in and surrender their humanity to a vampire, a demon or a shifter. Werewolves of course procreate so therefore their race would still carry on.  But picture it. Someone has just been diagnosed with terminal cancer. But wait, their still young and have so much life left in them. Why not commit yourself to becoming a vampire, demon or shifter. Of course, the individuals would have to fill out a lengthy form, sign a consent form and so forth. And let’s say there is a law put in place where these creatures can only create a limited amount. That way we wouldn’t be overrun by vamps demons and shifters.

See, I’ve thought way too much about this. But wait, that’s not all. I actually wrote about this very thing. In my novel, Consuming the Darkness, Jacobs Cove is exactly that. A paranormal friendly city. They are governed by laws and those that break the rules do time in prison just like average humans.  Do you think you could live in a world were what we fear the most walk amongst us? You know my opinion. Now tell me yours. Leave a comment and you could win an ecopy of Consuming the Darkness.
Here’s a look at the story.
Consuming the Darkness: Bk 6 in the Darkness series.

He needs your heart to live.

In Jacob’s Cove, where death is as common as apple pie, a serial murderer is a first. Lieutenant Sienna Storm, the town’s newly minted homicide detective, is eager to prove she’s up to the job of tracking down the demon who rips out his victims’ still-beating hearts. Even if it means using her innate ability to connect with him through his blood.

Detective Nathan Powers lost his partner to the aptly named Heartless Killer, and the trail of bodies leads him straight to Jacob’s Cove. However, this is no typical small town. It’s a strange world populated with bloodthirsty demons and run by a vampire. Still, the leggy blonde Sienna is a pleasant distraction. Until he discovers she’s after the same killer—and she’s not sharing.

Minds clash as the hunt intensifies, but the more they run into each other, the harder it is to stay apart. Together they discover not only clues, but a searing need that rises higher by the day.

That need may be their downfall when Nathan becomes the killer’s next target, and Sienna must risk everything to get him back.

Excerpt:

“Behind you! Get down.”
The gun came up in his hand, aimed at her head. She felt the presence of the vampire as he jumped out from behind the dumpster. As she spun around to take him down, the gun fired, hitting the vamp in the right shoulder. He jerked back, screeching like a banshee.

“What the hell are you doing?” she yelled at the man with the gun as she ran to the vamp.

“Daisy, stay!”

Daisy sat as she’d been instructed while Sienna knelt down beside the screaming vamp. She pressed her knee to the vamp’s bleeding shoulder to ensure that he wouldn’t move. “You are under arrest for breaking the laws of human and vampire and will be detained in the local jail while awaiting trial.”

“You’re a cop?” the guy behind her responded.

“Yeah, I’m a cop. Oh, stop your screaming already,” she yelled at the vamp, then flipped him onto his belly and pulled his arms to his back, pinning them in one hand while she searched for her handcuffs. “Damn it, why don’t I have my cuffs on me. Wanna tell me why you were about to attack me?”

“I wasn’t…honest…I was only…out for a walk. Yeah, I was walking. I’m going to sue the cops for harassment. I was minding my own. Fuck, my shoulder is killing me. Police brutality!”

“Shut the hell up. No one gives a damn.”

“Here.”

Sienna glanced up to see a set of shiny silver handcuffs dangling down before her. Glancing up, she took a moment to survey the gentleman and noticed he wasn’t bad on the eyes. His dark brown hair was messed up but somehow looked natural. And wow! The guy had a hell of a body. Broad shoulders, wide chest, and narrow waist. His face was pretty decent to look at, even with that thin line of hair over his upper lip that ran down the sides of his mouth to cover his chin. He had nice eyes, dark, round, with long lashes. “I’d prefer a regulation set rather than your bondage toys.”

“These are regulation. I’m a detective. Nathan Powers,” he introduced in a deep, throaty voice that sounded as if he’d had one too many cigarettes.

The vamp squirming beneath her, she took the cuffs. Before slapping them on the vamp’s wrists she made sure they were regulation. Flipping him onto his back, Sienna pinned him with her knee as she had before. “Don’t try anything stupid.”

“Bitch!” the vamp spat.

“What the hell’s with the yellow contacts and fake fangs?”

Sienna glanced over her shoulder as she responded to the detective. “What? You’ve never seen a vampire before?”

“A what?”

“A vampire.”

“I heard you. I thought I’d seen it all, but I guess not. Now we’ve got junkies playing vampire,” The detective chuckled with a shake of his head.

One look at the guy told her he was serious. “Oh jeez, he’s a virgin.” She rolled her eyes. “I told you to shut up.” She yanked the screaming vamp to his feet. “This is a vampire, not a fake, the real deal and if you plan on being in Jacob’s Cove for any amount of time you might want to be on the lookout for them. Some of them refuse to abide by the new laws. Isn’t that right, screamer?”

“Seriously though, he’s a vampire like the blood-sucking kind?”

“Don’t know any other kind.”

“Shouldn’t you like…you know, jam a wooden stake through his heart? I can’t believe I just said that.” He laughed boldly.

Was he for real?

She didn’t care for the sarcasm in his voice. “Neither can I. We prefer to rehabilitate them rather than turning them to dust.” Holding the vamp in one hand, she pulled her cell phone out with the other and dialed the station. “Lieutenant Storm here. I have a rogue vamp I need brought in.”

“I wasn’t doing anything, you stupid bitch.”

She clamped onto the squirming vamp a little tighter as she gave her location. She slipped her phone back into her shirt pocket when she was through and gave the vamp a hard shove against the dumpster. “Right, you were only skulking in the dark because you needed a smoke, right?”

“It’s a free world last time I looked.”

“Sure, except when you’re attempting to drink someone dry. Save it for the judge; I’m done listening.”

“You can’t prove anything. I’m innocent.”

“Do you know what I am?” she asked as she leaned in real close. “I’m a Tejakkan which means I have precog abilities. I saw you moments before you jumped out and I saw just what you’d planned to do so save your ‘I’m innocent’ act for someone who gives a damn.”

“Bitch!”

“That’s right and remember it.”

Thursday, May 24, 2012

50 Ways to Live Life Consciously, Christine Agro: Book Blitz



Does life seem complicated? Are you always trying to get to the next ‘something’? Are your relationships confusing and overwhelming? Christine Agro, Clairvoyant and Metaphysical Expert, shares her unique insight that will help you create a graceful, ease and flowing life. Christine’s information is so simple yet so powerful that you may actually feel yourself shifting as you read. With insight into the how, why and what-for of life, Christine helps you get off the mental and emotional wheels and helps you get your ego in check creating a natural balance with the one aspect of yourself that really does have all the answers, your Spirit. 50 Ways to Live Life Consciously is a treasure box that answers the question “why are we here” and offers 8 tools and 42 concepts to help you make the shift into conscious living.


Purchase 50 Ways to Live Life Consciously, today and you will receive: 

1 Month Free Membership to The Conscious Living Guide Site

One Entry to Win:

Free - 1/2 Hour Reading with Christine Agro
Free 5 Blog Stop Tour
1 Free Book Trailer Creation with Cafe' Creations

Visit Christine's Website for full info and details of today's Blitz 

Christine Agro is an internationally recognized Clairvoyant, Inspirational Teacher, Metaphysical Expert and author of 50 Ways To Live Life Consciously. (Haldi Press March 2012)
Using her unique approach that combines her clairvoyance and her degree in Naturopathy, Christine offers a truly holistic overview of health, wellness, well-being and our Spiritual journey. Praised by grateful women, parents, and celebrity clients across the globe for her intuitive and extraordinary gifts as a healer, she has been hailed as “magical”, “transformational” and “inspiring.”

Christine has been featured in The New York Times, and dubbed 'a gift to moms' by Real Savvy Moms an award winning website for the former PBS syndicated TV show. She has been interviewed on radio shows around the world, quoted in health and consumer magazines and e-zines nationwide. She has written for Gaiam Life, and contributed to Messages From Spirit by Colette Baron-Reid (Hay House 2008).
Christine is the author of 50 Ways to Live Life Consciously, creator of the Conscious Living Wisdom Cards and the founder and leader of the membership site The Conscious Living Guide (www.theconsciouslivingguide.com). Through The Conscious Living Guide Christine provides a place for like-minded people to connect and offers on-going support to those wishing to live life consciously. Members can participate in weekly meditations, mini-audio courses and a monthly on-line Q&A session.   


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Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Please Enjoy the Music While Your Party's Being Reached....


******NOTE: Yours truly, the beloved pisser-offer of better parents everywhere is positively buried***plowed under***officially a one-armed paper-hanger between beer crises and Major (major) editing jobs bumping up against some pretty hard deadlines (I said "hard". Yes that is where my mind is right now)*****BUT! I want to share something I've written before comparing the 90 minutes of Bikram Yoga process with the creative one.

If you don't hear from me in a few days, send in reinforcements!



For you uninitiated,
BIKRAM

refers to a guy, Bikram Choudhury who some say is the greediest damn Buddhist on the planet.
He invented this very structured 26 postures to be practiced in a melt your face hot room program in specific order, with exact, repetitive verbal cues, patented it and proceeded to charge an embarrassingly large sum of money for people to purchase franchises and to simply endure the torture.

 I for one, heartily endorse this smells-like-the-inside-of-a-soccer-bag experience.  It's been called "Hot Box Yoga" "Sweaty yoga" "Yoga for Type-A's" among other things.  It is one of the FEW ways yours truly can totally and completely let go of my own inner head writing, sales worrying, promo-planning self and just, well, suffer.

The progress, to my mind, is similar to the creation of a  book.

You start (do the breathing and "warm up" postures). You are HIGH on life, on yourself, your abilities and your overall amazingness.  You could do this EVERY DAMN DAY, do you hear me? You are just these many words shy of a best seller, and a movie deal.

You hit 1/3 through, have balanced on one leg through 3 postures and are about to become a triangle (the "pinnacle of the standing series").

You've written the end of your MS. You're reading through and handling your critique partners gentle yet firm commentary. You doubt yourself. You're on the verge of tears most of the time.  You suck, you're fat and you should just do everyone a favor and walk out/stop pretending you can write.

Floor series time: Whew what a relief. You get a brief respite. You're ACE at "dead body pose." You are relaxing, breathing, and "in the room" as the practice leader demands.  You can stretch your hips and flex your revision muscle beautifully.  This just might work.


By the time you've accomplished the "spine strengthening series" your entire psyche is one big wet noodle.  You're near tears again, pissed and frustrated and sick to death of yourself. If you have to read through that lame, asinine story one more time you will kill someone with your bare hands and a red editing pen. If you have to hear "Complete Relax" once more from the stupid twat at the front of the room you will go after her like a spider monkey.

Holy shit you want me to do WHAT? Bend back HOW FAR? on my fucking KNEES? are you CRAZY?  how many kids do you think this body has had? how many miles has it run, walked? There is NO WAY you are about to revise or add or completely rework that entire middle part of the story.  That is patently insane.


Ah....The final spinal...twisting one's spine "like a pearl necklace" where in you try to keep from sniggering like a 13 year old.  The home stretch, truly. There is not one square inch of your body NOT sweating. There is not one brain cell not completely saturated by the story that seemed destined for greatness.  Can you stand it? Will you finish?


The breathing, the final Savasana. and when the leader whispers "Namaste" at the end you clench your jaw and hold back the GO TO HELL that you really want to blurt into the stinky ass room.

But you breathe, you lay there, you let the slowly cooling air wind around and over you.

You polish, you submit and you start all over again.  The very next day.
You shower, you drink water, and you return. The very next day.
Because you must.
Two years ago I lost 45 pounds doing Bikram 4-5 times a week and eating very little in the way of refined sugar.  I have never felt more powerful, sexier or in control.

After spending the past year opening and running a successful craft beer business, I've fallen off both wagons, regained 25 of the pounds and feel, in a word, lame.

I've re-committed myself to the program, am on day 3 and just wanted to share some of the journey with you.
Namaste (or as I like to say: fuck you, thanks, and turn down the heat.)

Thanks for humoring me....must slink back to the cave...
Liz

Monday, May 21, 2012

Erotic Corner - Taking the art out of the story


One of my biggest pet peeves as an editor comes in when an author gives me a submission that has a great premise, a solid plot, but then the delivery is utter shit.


For example, I had one submission from a gay author where he tried to simulate that experience we have when we get black out drunk, by using different fonts, colors and even formatting.

I had another author recently use artsy language to convey the pain in a BDSM scene that struck me as rather Avant Gaurde.Plus, her dialogue was formatted in italics, as though quotation marks weren't enough.

I struck through both immediately and told them what you've given me is good, but it's ridiculously artsy and NOBODY WILL BUY IT.

So fix it.  Take out the art crap.  If you write for "art sake" you're not writing for profit UNLESS you learn the valuable skill of mixing what you want to do with what sells.  I recently saw a publishing company (don't shoot me, you know who!) that claimed to let authors work without formulas and constriction.

To be fair, they had the great sense to pick up a number of really talented people not just for their authors but for their marketing department.  (See I CAN say nice things.  Your mother called me by the way.  We have a date in two weeks and she told me you need tow wash her lingerie...)

The question authors constantly ask themselves, why must I write with a formula?  Why must I be fenced in?  Why must I write what you want and not what I feel?  I understand the problem.  When I first started writing, I wrote a lot of FemDomme material and as anyone with any sense will tell you, despite the massive number of female dominants, female dominant BDSM does NOT sell. We're all scratching our heads on this one but it's a fact backed up by sales records.  Early in my career I wrote for my lovers, my girlfriend, my Mistress, (two different women, I DO live the life!) my the Dominants I respected.  I wanted to honor them, I wanted to show them I cared enough to put my heart out there.

They were of course grateful.  But the buying public wasn't.  My sales records showed it, no matter how hard  promoted the FemDomme stuff.  My mom was proud, (Being a lifestyle female dominant) and my Mistresses were happy.

But the first thing I wrote that made money was a vampire novel.  Right around the time when vampire novels took up market share, I wrote one.  It's still for sale but we're re-covering it because of the quality of art these days far surpasses that of yesteryear. 

When I began writing for the market, money came in.  Anyone who tells you writing is an art form and should be done with the starving artist mentality in mind is an idiot and you should run away from them.  FAST.  We do what we do because we love it and many of us aren't good at much else.  But we deserve to get paid for our work and we deserve to get paid well.  We support the school system, are champions of creativity and expression, we are the light and way of the world as authors. 

Yet we must learn how to write for the market and sell, while satisfying our own urges.  This is a thankless job, why compound it with lackluster sales and no money to show for the hard work we put into bleeding for a novel or story?

See what I did in my early days by purchasing Mistress Kitty and Trent from Sizzler Editions

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Book Feature and Give-A-Way: A Stiff Kiss, Avery Olive


Who knew kissing a corpse would change everything?


Death always hits Xylia Morana too close to home, but she likes it that way. She hangs out with the terminally ill, attends random funerals, and every so often, when the weather is right, she sleeps in open graves.


But after Landon Phoenix, the high school hottie, dies in Xylia's arms, she sneaks into the morgue to say goodbye. How could she know stealing a kiss from his corpse would wake him up?


With Landon returned to the living and suddenly interested in Xylia, life has new meaning. But what Xylia doesn't realize is that by kissing Landon back to life, she's thrown Life and Death off balance. The underworld demands a body, and it might just have to be Xylia's this time.


To learn more about Author Avery Olive, visit her blog 
         and follow her on Twitter
                  Publisher-Crescent Moon Press
                Buy A Stiff Kiss from Amazon 

Give-A-Way: One ecopy of A Stiff Kiss, given to one reader who comments. 
Please leave your email address. 

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Yeah Yeah I'm Late....But I'm No Betty Draper

Just a quickie from the front lines of broken bones and editing hell today kids.


Long story short: soccer wenchling broke 2 bones in her arm on Sunday thanks to a hard, field clearing kick of a soccer ball by arguably the strongest girl on her team. Her wrist was in the way. Three days, 3 pins, one surgery and a ton of pain killers later, here we sit, casted up with a "no contact" warning for the next 4 weeks on board.  She is not happy. This is the kid who walked at 9 months and I had to benadryl up for the many long airline flights she took before she turned 7 (she was born in Japan and didn't live in the US until then with stints in Turkey and England for the family in between). 


I wrote a post about my parenting style the night before the surgery, alleviating some of my stress about putting the girl all the way under to set the 2 bones and pin them in place with what I thought was a sort of funny little something about how I am the polar opposite of an "Attached Parent."  My style did not include giving up my life to live theirs.  Made a new enemy that day who did not agree with said post.


Whew.


And I have 2 books that need my eyeballs after line edits (The 2 Turks releases The Diplomat's Daughter and Flower Passage: Tarkan Returns). One book that is in revision mode for the better, and another hovering on the horizon for same. 


I'm trying to prep myself for a big weekend of beer work (2 festivals, still working out how to clone myself and my brewer for this), and the upcoming RomFest in Tennessee.


It's all good. No real complaints here. 


But my question to you is this:  When you read a blog post on someone's personal blog (that is to say NOT a news or opinion site like Salon.com or HuffPo or a news site) do you find it appropriate to vent a personal opposite opinion in the comments?  I am of the mind that, if I read something I wholeheartedly disagree with on a personal site, I click the little "x" in the corner and move on.  I truly do value opinions. I grew up in a house with plenty of them and learned early on how to defend my own.  But I swear on a stack of Dave Barry books and Erma Bombeck columns I meant the thing to be funny.  And 99% of the people who voiced their opinion of it said the same thing.  


Anyways, just a blog comment etiquette question is all....carry on.


P.S.: Not that you care, I did breastfeed my kids for the bulk of the first year of each of their lives. But they do their own laundry by age 10 (or wear dirty clothes, essentially) and they can each mix a mean martini and tap a beer keg. I call these "life skills" right up there with study and cleaning ones.
I'll admit sometimes the "Betty Draper" parenting method makes me cringe....wonder why? Perhaps because I'm willing to admit I'm not perfect, and joke about it.


cheers
Liz

Monday, May 14, 2012

Guest Post - Keri Ford on Creating SEXUAL Tension


 Thanks so much Sascha for having me today! I’m so excited about my new series, The Roughnecks, and can’t wait to giveaway a copy of my book, Through The Wall to a commenter!

Now back to the topic. Tension. As in the sexual kind, like from my upcoming release, Rough Ride:

He tugged the door open. “Wha—”
Gretchen stood there. Her eyes big and walking down the front of him.
“Gretchen.” He straightened and held the worthless towel together with both hands. “I…I thought you were my brother.”
She licked her lips as her gaze landed right on his hardening cock under the paper-thin towel that was probably see-thru too. Two days ago she’d walked out of his place. There’d been nothing left on his porch yesterday and he’d thought that was it. He clearly thought wrong. And now she stared toward his chest. Which was better than his dick.
He adjusted his hold on his towel to try and hide his interest. “Um, what’s up?”
“I….” She swallowed and held out the item in her hand. “I made you some pecan pie.”
“But you don’t like pecan.”
She blinked. “I know. That’s why I made it for you. This is actually my eighth pie since the other night. Tonya insisted I bring you one, since I got on the whole baking pies kick because of you.” She lifted the pie out higher. “So here.”
He stared at the pie, determining how well his towel would hold up if he let go and risked holding it with one hand. “Um.”
She frowned and stared at the perfectly crispy, sugary top. “Is there a problem?”
“No, I just…give me a sec.” He fumbled with the skinny ass towel, trying to get it in one hand. Damn it, he was standing in his doorway, wrapped in a towel in the middle of a trailer park with a hard-on.
She angled the pie aside and stared toward his hands wrestling with the thin towel. “Are you too big for your towel?”
Christ. Hell yes, right now, definitely yes. He wadded the ends in one hand. “There. Now I’ve got it.”
She shook her head and stepped in. “Let me just put it on the counter for you. It takes over an hour for one of these to bake. Would be a waste if you dropped it to hide your man bits.”
“My man bits?”
She sat the pie on the corner, her back to him. “Yes. Your…man bits. And the pie is still a little warm. Would be a shame if it splattered down the front of you.”
There was no missing the laughter in her voice. “And on my man bits.”
She faced back to him, her hands going behind her back, her blue eyes large and blinking in that innocent girl way. “That too. And I don’t like pecan pie, remember?”
 –excerpt from Rough Ride

What makes a book hot for me isn’t the number of pages of the sex scene or the creative gymnastic acts.
It’s the tension.

Those looks across the room. The weight of his hand over your lower back guiding you through a door. How the caress of his fingers sends a rush of shudders over your skin. Air whispering past the curve of your neck.

Sexual tension can make or break a book for me. While reading and while writing it.

Think of your best friend forever. Got that person pictured in your mind? Think of the time you spend with each other. The shopping, the manicures. Whatever you do with your buddy. Now imagine stripping bare booty nekkid and doing the freak nasty with that person. Not so hot. There’s something there to create that friendship, but there’s not the heat of chemistry.

Now think of the flush of a first crush. The tightness of your chest. The catch of your breath. How your palms get just a little bit sweaty and your heart pounds. Dryness of your mouth and that ticking, fluttering, delightful racing of your pulse through your limbs.

Oh yeah, that’s the stuff I’m talking about. Stories like that just write themselves. There’s no other way to describe it. You sit at the computer thinking you’ll write a chapter and next thing you know you’ve powered through three.

As a reader, it’s that moment where it’s just after midnight, you’ll read one more chapter and then, it’s four a.m., there’s only two chapters left in the story and you can’t possible stop now.


What’s a book you’ve read that just brings the sexual tension to the point you can’t put it down? Or if you can’t think of one, what’s your favorite genre to read? Leave me a comment and you’ll be entered for a chance at Through The Wall http://bit.ly/HcMVfJ, the first book in the Apple Trail Series where there sexual tension is off the charts as Stephanie tries talking Parker into “dirty-ish sex”.

***
Keri Ford writes Sexy Country Contemporary Romances. See her website for more information about her books and The Roughnecks Blog Tour with all the giveaways, sneak peeks and blog stops: http://keriford.com 

Rough Ride releases May 6, 2012
Read Chapter One http://bit.ly/H0azIz

BLURB
You do for family, no matter what. Lane Iverson knows that better than anyone. Harboring a secret about his mother’s death, Lane is counting the days until he finishes helping his brothers with some work and can head back to his hiding hole hours away. As long as he doesn’t have to face his three brothers every day, the guilt is easier to carry.

There is only one thing that can risk his plan. All of five foot tall with these deep eyes and a voice that shudders through him. The completely addicting, Gretchen Jones. She’s been watching him the entire time he’s been in town. With courage from her friends behind her, she confronts what she wants. To her surprise, that’s the easy part. Keeping her heart protected when she knows he’ll be leaving? Not so easy, but her only choice.

Find Keri at
Website http://bit.ly/Heo4Vr
Twitter http://bit.ly/HRgGgu
Facebook http://on.fb.me/HenzL0
Goodreads http://bit.ly/HRGiKn
The Roughnecks Blog Tour Information http://bit.ly/HWIZ0E

Keri Ford's a real sweetie, go on.  Give her a follow.  And buy a book!  Best of success to you Keri!