Wednesday Chuckles

I'm deep into a new project, the Stewart Realty 6th book--Escalation Clause which is sort of morphing nicely into something that will be the perfect follow up to Books 4 (Essence of Time) and 5 (Conditional Offer, a novella releasing mid-August).  This part of the process is a little lonely and I get cranky during it so thought I would turn to Me Mum (one of my toughest line editors so "yes my mother reads my fiction") who is notorious for sending me funny stuff like these: 

"WHERE is my SUNDAY paper?!"

The irate customer calling the newspaper office, loudly demanded to know where her Sunday edition was.
"Madam",  said the newspaper employee, "today is Saturday.  The Sunday paper is not delivered until  tomorrow, on SUNDAY".

There was quite a long pause on the other end of the phone, followed by  a ray of recognition as she was heard to mutter ...

"Well, shit, that explains why no one was at church either".

Two businessmen in the centre of St Pete  were sitting down for a break, in their soon-to-be new shop... As  yet, the shop wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up.  One said to the other,  "I bet any minute now some pensioner  is going to walk by,  put their face to the window,  and ask what we're selling." No sooner were the words out of his mouth  when, sure enough,  a curious old woman walked to the window,  had a peek,  and in a soft voice asked,   "What are you selling here?"  One of the men replied sarcastically,  "We're selling  ass-holes." Without  skipping a beat, the old dear said,  "Must be doing well... Only two left." Three women go down to Mexico one night to celebrate college graduation.       They get drunk, and wake up in jail, only to discover that they are to be executed in the morning, though none of them can remember what they did the night before. The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if she has any last words. She says: "I just graduated from Trinity Bible College and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent.." They throw the switch and nothing happens. They all immediately fall to the floor on their knees, beg for forgiveness and release her. The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words. "I just graduated from the University of Illinois School of Law, and I believe in the power of Justice to intervene on the behalf of the innocent." They throw the switch and again, nothing happens. Again, they all immediately fall to their knees, beg for forgiveness, and release her.       The last one, a blonde (you knew it), is strapped in and says: "Well, I'm from Ann Arbor and just graduated from The University of Michigan with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I'll tell ya right now, you are not gonna electrocute anybody if you don't plug this thing in." And a great article me mum found and sent to me: "First Comes Sex, Then Comes Marriage?" Who knew?  Well, those of us who WRITE this sh*t do, duh. And finally, I'm hosting a giant giveaway on the Brewing Passion Blog to celebrate the release of CHEEKY BLONDE--check it out! make it a lovely hump day Liz