Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Once Upon a Time--A Fairy Tale Life

Once Upon a Time There Was a Writer.

She lived a sunny magical life, filled with glamour, fun, late night cocktail parties and breakfasts in bed served by Jon Hamm lookalikes.

Long about 11 a.m. every day, after the calories magically exited her body with minimal effort (mani/pedis do burn some you know) she would settle down with her latest and greatest expensive laptop and begin to harken to her muse. She Created for at least three hours a day, usually to the tune of fifteen to twenty point five thousand words at a time. After hitting "send" off to her New York based agenting staff and editors she stretched, accepted her first cocktail of the day and admired her toenails and the backside of the pool boy.

Later, after the pool boy is left in a quivering alpha-male sized heap in the corner of her luxurious cabana, she accepts her second cocktail of the day and starts her social networking rounds.

"SQUEE" She squees.
"Snoopy Dancing" She proclaims.

And her many fans listen, and are well pleased.

"Massage me." She requests of the topless, six-pack endowed butler.

Later, after the butler is lead out to join to pool boy in the recovery lounge, she takes a stroll down the picturesque Pacific coast beachfront, dipping toes in the sand and cool water, accepting admiring glances from all and sundry.  The sun shines upon and she is...inspired.

Wandering back up to her writing den, she opens the laptop to find: A $3.5 million movie offer for her latest series. She accepts her third cocktail and a Toberlerone chocolate bar, nibbling and sipping as the calories again magically disappear into thin air.  After agreeing to terms that include trying out the male leads for her BDSM spectacle of depravity and lust, she Creates once again, crafting the last 20 thousand words to her latest book, before drifting off into a dreamless, contented sleep to the sound of lapping ocean waves and the deep bass rumbles of the replacement pool boy and butler.

'MOM!'
She jerks awake, still in her sweats from the early morning. It's already 3 p.m. There is no snack, the dogs have not been walked, breakfast is forming into wallpaper paste in the sink.
"Mom! I think I have head lice, can you check me?"
But she smiles. For today, she gained a couple of new readers, found a nice review of Amazon And all is right with the world.

The End.

Happy Writing.
Liz

6 comments:

  1. I must be old as I've yet to figure out "squee." Go figure?

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  2. How dare you write about my life without me knowing? Just kidding. Hell, I'd settle for a whole day of no phone, hubby, kiddo and work. Also no household chores.

    Great post Liz.

    Marika

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  3. LMAO! You do know this will happen to me one day soon. That will be exactly how my day goes!

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  4. You rock, Liz! I LOVE this fairy tale - it's mine so you must have stolen it from a bunch of writers!!!

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  5. Ah, but to dream! Great post, enjoyed it. Now back to gritty reality...trying to write a new draft of my horror novel!
    http://www.mediaready-mediasavvy.com/

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