Here an example of Crappy POV in my humble (and only) opinion:
John stared at Mary, lust in his eyes, apologies on his lips for smacking her in the head with the window frame. Mary's heart was pounding in time with the pulse in her panties. He was so freaking hot. Wow she is a hot babe, he thought. Wonder if I can get past the concussion I gave her and get into her panties somehow. Mary blushed beet red, ran a hand through her tangled, silky golden hair and put her other hand on her hip in a come-hither fashion. Just before she blacked out from the blow to the head. Oh No! John thought, concern in his eyes. I've killed her before I can f$#@ her!
okay....you get me. who the hell are we supposed to be listening to here?
Now this said, I will admit that lately I've tried to read a couple of mainstream fiction books. You know, those ones that have made it through agents, big NY houses, an onto paper. Yeah. I had to stop because I got so flipping confused by the head hopping.
This got me thinking...are we making it too simple for our readers? Should we expect them to be able to leap from one lustful brain to the others in the room with nary a warning, or even a gap on the page?
Hmmm. Maybe. Maybe not. So for all the John and Mary confusion above, that was not far from the few chapters I attempted in a very mainstream (read: NOT romance or erotic) book only there were no less than seven characters at some sort of political fund raising event and not only are their names similar (there is a "Brock" and a "Brooke" something none of MY publishers would let slide) we got the benefit of head hops within paragraphs. Sheesh.
Am I just stupid? Or spoiled?
Do you like to read "complex" fiction that leaps all over the place, POV wise? OR do you prefer you points of view laid out in neat little well organized rows so you can immerse yourself in each major character's thoughts and dreams?
LIZ'S NEW FLASH: I contracted a book I think you will all really like. Cheeky Blonde. Coming from Decadent Publishing in 2012:
Violence, intrigue and passion are brewing in the craft beer world. When bitter rivals Jennifer Baxter and Sean Garrison meet, the notorious and handsome owner of Garrison Brothers Brewing stays true to form, seducing her at a national brewer’s convention. What Jen doesn’t realize is how much her life will change from just one encounter. Her attempt to debut Brick Street Brewing’s experimental pale ale “Cheeky Blonde” shockingly turns out to be the day her avowed adversary becomes the love of her life.
Sean Garrison arrived at the convention expecting to get down to business, including his stated goal of hiring Jen away from her company. But the beautiful fellow craft beer expert provides more of a distraction than he expected, and his priorities quickly change. As Sean tries to prove that he can be more than just Jen’s competition, they finally unite to solve the sabotage mysteries at their fellow breweries. Shocked by depths of shared emotion, they battle the forces keeping them apart and wreaking havoc in the brewing world, before fate deals them a final blow.