Home Improvements and Cats Don’t Mix.

I’m going to go of the rails today and talk about myself and my life outside of writing. Well, its still whimsical in its own way.

For those that don’t know me, I have six cats and a black lab. Two of the cats are still kittens and very curious.  And that’s putting it mildly. The youngest, Cinder is by far the most curious and mischievous. She a bullet when she runs, spastic when she plays and cuddly when she’s tired.  The other kitten is Castiel. He’s the laid back kind that likes to cause trouble in a sly, “wasn’t me,” kind of attitude. His favourite is slowly knocking things off of bedside tables and dressers just so he can get our attention. Oh, and he’s deaf so yelling at him is pointless.

Anyway, yesterday I started doing a little home renovation. Most of my house is in laminate aside from the bedrooms and family room.  The stairs leading down to the family room and front door is rug. It’s a pain in the ass to vacuum so I decided it was time to rip it out.  My hubby is out of town, my youngest has swollen tonsils and a chest infection and I’m crazy enough to want to rip out carpet. But hey, I’ve never been accused of being sane. So here I am, my tools at hand, ready to get stared. I turn my back to get something and when I turn back, Cinder is batting pliers. I shoo her off and get started pulling up the carpet. She decides she needs a close up view and sits right on the part I’m in the process of ripping out. I shot to my sick daughter, “Take your cat out of here.” That lasts all of five minutes before the cat escapes. I’m down one step and working on the second. She sees the pliers again and knocks them around.

Damn it Cinder! I push her away and continue my work. Next thing I know, the pliers tumbles down the steps. “Damn it Cin—“ oops, this time its Cass.

I roll my eyes and continue.  Now the dog is interested in what I’m doing…or so I think. Nope, she needs to go outside. Great. I stop what I’m doing and let her out. I turn around and both Cass and Cinder are attacking the loose carpet. Grrrr! I toss them up the stairs and continue. Now the dog wants in. Double grrrr!! She comes in and trots up the stairs. At least she’s out of the way. Back to work.

It’s time to start ripping up the carpet tacks. I call my oldest to start on that while I finish with the carpet. He pulls up one piece, sets it on the top step only to have Cinder bat it around. Chris shouts at Angie to get her cat and for a few moments we have piece.  The carpet is now gone and all that is left to do it pop up the carpet tacks and the stray staples left behind from the carpet. Out come Cinder and Cass. Cinder runs down to me, sits on the step and watches, Okay, I can handle this. Next thing I know, she pounces my hand and starts chomping. Damn cat! I toss her up the stairs and continue working. Now Cass wants to know what I’m doing. Each time I pull out a staple, he bats at my hand. Grrr!!

Eventually the work on the stairs is done and all I need to do now is the laminate. I get out the tools and the glue and measure the laminate. Yep, there’s Cinder, trying to help. She bats at the measuring tape, chases after the chalk line and has the time of her life. Off to glue the sucker down. I slap glue on the first step, pull on the laminate and I feel fur grazing my legs. WTF? I look back and there is  Cass, playing with the hem on my pants. Dear God won’t someone save me. Half an hour later, the steps are done and its time to clean up. Cat helpers are not welcome. By the time al is said and done, I want to punt two cats, but I don’t and why? Because I love the little twerps with all my heart and without them, I wouldn’t have this blog post today.

And if you’re wondering why I didn’t just lock them up somewhere. The answer is, they claw the shit out of the rugs in the rooms their in just to get out. No win situation.